I’m finally over being sick. It was a rough last week. My
body just doesn’t “bounce back” like it used to. I remember when I was younger
I would be sick one day, and healthy as ever the next. Same went for being
hungover. Back in my early twenties it was nothing for me to stay out all
night, getting wasted, and then be fully functional at work the next morning.
Of course, I don’t really drink too much anymore. I also don’t
smoke anymore. I quit smoking a little over a year ago. I started when I was 14
years old and stopped when I was 34, so 20 years of smoking was about all I
could handle. Not to mention the financial burden it was causing me. A person
damn near needs to take out a loan in order to buy cigarettes these days. I was
at the gas station the other day and there was a sign for Marlboro cigarettes
that read: “Special Sale Price - $7.09!” Seven
dollars for a pack of cigarettes?!
I was watching Garden
State with my wife on Christmas night (it’s her all-time favorite movie)
and although I had seen it a few times before there was something about the
movie that stuck with me during this viewing. I must have thought about this before while
watching the movie, but this time it just stuck with me. The theme of the movie
is acceptance of life as it is and enjoying it for what it is. The main
character tells his dad that he has “spent 26 years waiting for something else
to start,” but what he realizes is that this is all he has. There’s nothing
else out there. He decides to just start living his life for the enjoyment of
what it is, rather than working towards an unattainable goal that’s going to
make him miserable in the process.
I guess the reason why this is staying with me more these
days is because I have been thinking a lot about the dreams I had when I was
younger. I wanted so badly to be an actor. I always thought I would be and make
a living doing what I loved to do, entertaining people. Now I’m 35 years old
and a finance manager – the dream is long gone. It used to sadden me, but it
doesn’t anymore. I have accepted the fact that I wasn’t able to be an actor like
I had wanted. I wasn’t able to make a living entertaining people. But it’s
okay. This is my life and I better
enjoy what I do have and what I am, because the other option is to be miserable
about a life that I don’t have.
It’s kind of interesting how a movie can have such an
impact. Good thing we weren’t watching my all-time favorite movie, Pulp Fiction, otherwise I might be
wandering the Earth like Caine in Kung Fu.